saying no to food gives me this weird rush of euphoria
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I think my eating disorder started before I knew it did
I think my eating disorder started when I was in middle school and during class the only thing I could think about wasn’t my school work or the boy I was currently crushing on, but instead worrying about how fat I must have looked.
I think my eating disorder started when every day I tightly held my stomach muscles in for the entirety of the day, for months and months on end, to appear thinner whenever I was in school or anywhere in the public eye.
I think my eating disorder started when I unknowingly and subconsiously compared myself to the thinner girls at my school, while staring in a toxically minded trance and adoring how small their bodies were any chance I could.
I think my eating disorder started before I knew it did and once I became aware of it, it was far too late.
I just cried over the amount of calories in my coffee.
The barista got my coffee order wrong and tried to tell me it was “basically the same thing”, but all I could think was no, this has 100 more calories. But I didn’t want to argue and was already running late so I took the coffee and dumped it in the trash outside of the building. And because I haven’t eaten all day, have a final exam in 30 mins, and am ready to fall over, I started to cry.
If you’re new to this, or thinking about starting. Don’t. Run. If you’re able to get out, get out now. It’s not cute. It’s not fun. It’s so fucking miserable.
shoutout to POC dealing with eating disorders- so much thinspo is just pale white bitches and yall deserve recognition too
How can I ever believe a compliment when all I see is how horrible I truly am.
Repeat after me
I can do it. I can be skinny. I can do it. I can ask for a size 00. It will happen.
I cannot stress this enough- Build a routine. Build Habits. Wake up every day and get used to being productive, one day at a time. Do this for long enough and eventually you’ll be at your goal without even realising it.
your eating disorder’s severity is not determined by weight because eating disorders are not weight disorders they’re behavioral disorders thanks for coming to my ted talk
yes please tell this to every eating disorder professional in existence
